Correction, I know 5. My mistake.

Eeeerrr, I know you come from Brighton, but there's a problem with the fact that he's younger than you, but not that he's male!!!!!!

Too amazing. Even for this thread.

Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

Interestingly, I am not amazed that nobody chose to sit next to you.

I also have a similar story. My friend mc cheapskate wanted to attend the Chelsea match with me and asked me to book the two tickets online using his reference and my one together to ensure we sat together. I politely refused, highlighting that last time I paid for his 10p raiders crisps I did not receive the loan back for at least 6 days. Therefore we came up with a fool proof plan. We would both go online at the same time and try to get tickets near each other so we could at least wave and smile at each other in a Brightonesque manner during the game. To my amazement we managed to get the seats next to each other following the aforementioned method of ticket purchase. True Story that one. I welcome any questions....

Exactly my thoughts, I pondered whether the box office had been warning people off, or perhaps, like when they mark 'restricted view' on the online seating plan there was also a 'seated near a bell end' marker.