This page is no longer updated, and is the old forum. For new topics visit the New HOL forum.
A case worthy of the Old Bailey
Register | Edit Profile | Subscriptions | Forum Rules | Log In
 BarEagle  Monmouth 11 Aug 15 7.15pm |
  |
|---|---|
|
Apparently a bloke in the pub says she can suck the bend out of a river after sucking a tennis ball through a straw. Just sayin'
|
|
 Alert a moderator to this post |
  |
matt_himself  Matataland 11 Aug 15 9.22pm |
|
|---|---|
|
Quote ASCPFC at 11 Aug 2015 7.11pm
Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 6.55pm
She looks like the sort of woman who would be a f***ing nightmare to be around after she had 'consumed three or four cans of cider'. If I was the judge I would give her life and bollocks to whether it was extrajudicial or not.
No. You can imagine the type. There you are, in the pub, trying to watch the football or cricket or darts, and then she bowls up, says something funny across the pub to all its patrons to get them interested in her, before getting thoroughly mortal, insulting everyone, getting into a very specific slanging match with someone over something very minor, before her being led out by a friend for a smoke, whilst the women is still spitting bile about something inconsequential that has offended her to the point of violence but with her make up now looking akin to something Kiss would go on stage wearing circa 1976, as it streaks down her face. She will then befriend a psychotic looking lone drinker who makes threatening gestures to all in the bar who have somehow incurred this woman's wrath, she is pointing them out to him, then she leaves the pub declaring that all the customers are a 'bunch of w***ers' before declaring she is better than all of them before falling down the stairs giving everyone a glimpse of her piss stained knickers and bingo wings. As a side note, normally on this type of pub night, the match you went to watch throws up a result that is completely opposite to what Palace need at the time, I.e., Sunderland win 3-0 away to a disinterested Man City in April. I have encountered her sort, have had pleasant evenings ruined as a consequence and as a result plead with the Judge to hand down to her the harshest penalty available to him in this instance.
"That was fun and to round off the day, I am off to steal a charity collection box and then desecrate a place of worship.” - Smokey, The Selhurst Arms, 26/02/02 |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| Tom-the-eagle Croydon 11 Aug 15 9.24pm |
|
|---|---|
|
Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 9.22pm
Quote ASCPFC at 11 Aug 2015 7.11pm
Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 6.55pm
She looks like the sort of woman who would be a f***ing nightmare to be around after she had 'consumed three or four cans of cider'. If I was the judge I would give her life and bollocks to whether it was extrajudicial or not. Would you let her off if it was two or three bottles of Spitfire? No. You can imagine the type. There you are, in the pub, trying to watch the football or cricket or darts, and then she bowls up, says something funny across the pub to all its patrons to get them interested in her, before getting thoroughly mortal, insulting everyone, getting into a very specific slanging match with someone over something very minor, before her being led out by a friend for a smoke, whilst the women is still spitting bile about something inconsequential that has offended her to the point of violence but with her make up now looking akin to something Kiss would go on stage wearing circa 1976, as it streaks down her face. She will then befriend a psychotic looking lone drinker who makes threatening gestures to all in the bar who have somehow incurred this woman's wrath, she is pointing them out to him, then she leaves the pub declaring that all the customers are a 'bunch of w***ers' before declaring she is better than all of them before falling down the stairs giving everyone a glimpse of her piss stained knickers and bingo wings. As a side note, normally on this type of pub night, the match you went to watch throws up a result that is completely opposite to what Palace need at the time, I.e., Sunderland win 3-0 away to a disinterested Man City in April. I have encountered her sort, have had pleasant evenings ruined as a consequence and as a result plead with the Judge to hand down to her the harshest penalty available to him in this instance.
"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| fed up eagle Between Horley, Surrey and Preston... 11 Aug 15 11.48pm |
|
|---|---|
|
They really are blowing the tax payers money here
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| Canterbury Palace Whitstable 12 Aug 15 6.06am |
|
|---|---|
|
If they don't want people to down a load of Scrumpy and perform oral sex on their significant other in the middle of a park, they shouldn't force them to endure Paloma Faith. That fact that she is being vilified rather than commended for playing blowjob roulette on an unconscious man with IBS really is a damning indictment of modern society. PC gone mad.
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold... |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| suicideatselhurst crawley 12 Aug 15 8.48am |
|
|---|---|
|
and the person that was so shocked by the events, then just had to film the whole incident, just to show how shocking it all was ??? waste of time money and effort
Theres someone in my head ... But its not me X/Box game Tag bazcpfc1961, clan (HMS) |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
 steph_eagle Thornton Heath 12 Aug 15 8.56am |
|
|---|---|
|
Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 9.22pm
Quote ASCPFC at 11 Aug 2015 7.11pm
Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 6.55pm
She looks like the sort of woman who would be a f***ing nightmare to be around after she had 'consumed three or four cans of cider'. If I was the judge I would give her life and bollocks to whether it was extrajudicial or not.
No. You can imagine the type. There you are, in the pub, trying to watch the football or cricket or darts, and then she bowls up, says something funny across the pub to all its patrons to get them interested in her, before getting thoroughly mortal, insulting everyone, getting into a very specific slanging match with someone over something very minor, before her being led out by a friend for a smoke, whilst the women is still spitting bile about something inconsequential that has offended her to the point of violence but with her make up now looking akin to something Kiss would go on stage wearing circa 1976, as it streaks down her face. She will then befriend a psychotic looking lone drinker who makes threatening gestures to all in the bar who have somehow incurred this woman's wrath, she is pointing them out to him, then she leaves the pub declaring that all the customers are a 'bunch of w***ers' before declaring she is better than all of them before falling down the stairs giving everyone a glimpse of her piss stained knickers and bingo wings. As a side note, normally on this type of pub night, the match you went to watch throws up a result that is completely opposite to what Palace need at the time, I.e., Sunderland win 3-0 away to a disinterested Man City in April. I have encountered her sort, have had pleasant evenings ruined as a consequence and as a result plead with the Judge to hand down to her the harshest penalty available to him in this instance.
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| jamiemartin721 Reading 12 Aug 15 10.05am |
|
|---|---|
|
Quote suicideatselhurst at 12 Aug 2015 8.48am
and the person that was so shocked by the events, then just had to film the whole incident, just to show how shocking it all was ??? waste of time money and effort In fairness, its probably the best way to get the police interested in the case, do their job for them and then present it as a video of a woman fellating a man in a park. I'm not sure that her defense of 'helping him to the toilet' makes it more hardcore or not. As for people who are shocked by this, I can only imagine that they've never used the internet.
"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug" |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| jamiemartin721 Reading 12 Aug 15 10.06am |
|
|---|---|
|
Quote steph_eagle at 12 Aug 2015 8.56am
Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 9.22pm
Quote ASCPFC at 11 Aug 2015 7.11pm
Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 6.55pm
She looks like the sort of woman who would be a f***ing nightmare to be around after she had 'consumed three or four cans of cider'. If I was the judge I would give her life and bollocks to whether it was extrajudicial or not.
No. You can imagine the type. There you are, in the pub, trying to watch the football or cricket or darts, and then she bowls up, says something funny across the pub to all its patrons to get them interested in her, before getting thoroughly mortal, insulting everyone, getting into a very specific slanging match with someone over something very minor, before her being led out by a friend for a smoke, whilst the women is still spitting bile about something inconsequential that has offended her to the point of violence but with her make up now looking akin to something Kiss would go on stage wearing circa 1976, as it streaks down her face. She will then befriend a psychotic looking lone drinker who makes threatening gestures to all in the bar who have somehow incurred this woman's wrath, she is pointing them out to him, then she leaves the pub declaring that all the customers are a 'bunch of w***ers' before declaring she is better than all of them before falling down the stairs giving everyone a glimpse of her piss stained knickers and bingo wings. As a side note, normally on this type of pub night, the match you went to watch throws up a result that is completely opposite to what Palace need at the time, I.e., Sunderland win 3-0 away to a disinterested Man City in April. I have encountered her sort, have had pleasant evenings ruined as a consequence and as a result plead with the Judge to hand down to her the harshest penalty available to him in this instance.
Pretty much pub life round our way. Although most of our local pubs don't have stairs, safety reasons.
"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug" |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| Superfly The sun always shines in Catford 12 Aug 15 1.42pm |
|
|---|---|
|
I'm lost as to what part of the 'helping a chap to the toilet' procedure involves putting his Johnson in your cakehole
Lend me a Tenor 31 May to 3 June 2017 John McIntosh Arts Centre with Superfly in the chorus |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| Stuk Top half 12 Aug 15 2.42pm |
|
|---|---|
|
Guilty. How the f*** did it take 2 days?
Optimistic as ever |
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
| npn Crowborough 12 Aug 15 2.52pm |
|
|---|---|
|
Quote Stuk at 12 Aug 2015 2.42pm
Guilty. How the f*** did it take 2 days?
|
|
| Alert a moderator to this post |
|
Login / RegisterNew users
Registration is now on our new message board
Existing users
To login with your existing username you will need to convert your account over to the new message board.
Sponsors
All images and text on this site are copyright © 1999-2024 The Holmesdale Online, unless otherwise stated.
Web Design by Guntrisoft Ltd.