I thought you went looking for them when you're supposed to be painting houses?
I even told Mrs P that I'd never get leave a decorator in the house unattended after reading one of your posts where you, or a chum, headed off looking for the lady of the house's "Fanny Arsenal"

You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.

Discovering a short, tightly curled hair on a newly unwrapped Werthers Original.

Talk Sport adverts to the tune of songs like "If You're Happy & You Know It", with words changed to be about a building suppliers.These adverts are usually in a dire, self-consciously strong regional accent too. Yes I know I shouldn't listen to Talk Sport at all, but transfer rumours have driven me to it in moments of weakness.

Stupid parents who bring their kids in pushchairs to an event you know if going to be packed.

When I lived in London, the same goes for getting peak time rush trains.

1) Parents that have horrible, vile, retarded, annoying, loud kids who let them run riot and do fcuk all to stop them.

2) People that lean in so close when they talk you can see the contents of their mouth and their breath mists your eyeballs up, it's called personal space for a reason you spunk trumpet.

3) Limp wristed hand shakes or people that shake your hand like they're the queen and only give you their fingers to shake.

4) Zombies that walk around looking at their mobiles while walking down the street with everyone having to move out of their way.

not me guvnor

Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.