Hey guys, im moving to australia for a bit, all im hearing is box jellyfish, are they really that common that beaches are closed off and you have to wear stinger proof suits? Ive known about these all my life as I am an animal buff but are they really encountered so much.? Help needed,

--anxiety ridden palace fan

They can leap out of the toilet while you're crimping one off.

Spiders... That's all you need to worry about. Oh and watch out for Bogans

I don't need to sell my soul...he's already in me.

Crystal Palace Supporters Club Adelaide Regiment

I once swam in the sea on a delightful isolated beach near Cairns only to see after my dip a warning sign that salties were about. Shat me pants.

But apart from things like that it's as safe as houses.

Don't worry about the box jellyfish. You can't see them until it's too late anyway.

Big chest and massive boobs

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I only encountered red backs, a funnel web and a tiger shark in Australia. Harmless place.

Optimistic as ever

Here's some stats that should put your mind at ease. (Suprised on the spider figures. Aussie spiders are pussies)

Snakes: With 41 recorded deaths between 1980 and 2009, snake deaths in Australia average out at less than two per year.
Spiders: Nobody in Australia has died from a spider bite since 1979 after the successful introduction of antivenom for all native species.
Sharks*: Accounted for 25 deaths between 2000 and (March) 2012 in Australia, about 2 a year.
Crocodiles: Historically, crocodiles account for less than one death per year here in Australia, although that is increasing slightly as the crocodile population rises following the ban on crocodile hunting in 1971.
Blue Ringed Octopus: Just 3 recorded deaths in the last century.
Stonefish: One unconfirmed death by stonefish in 1915.
Cone Snails: I could find no recorded deaths from cone snails in Australia whatsoever.
Killer Jellyfish: Jellyfish account for (at time of writing) 66 deaths since records began in 1883. The box jellyfish was responsible for 64 deaths, and the Irukandji the other two. It sounds a lot, but still less than one death per year, more like just half a death per year.
* Updated 5.4.12. with latest shark death figures.

Australia’s worst killers!

Here in Australia, about 20 people a year die from horse riding accidents.
Around 10 people per year in Australia die from European Honey Bee stings after going into anaphylactic shock.
And around 300 people a year drown.

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Lend me a Tenor

31 May to 3 June 2017

John McIntosh Arts Centre
London Oratory School
SW6 1RX

with Superfly in the chorus
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